Packing heat

I left hospital a changed person. 

I lost 12 kg and gained an appreciation of high-fat, high-protein and high-everything food. I lost a tumour and re-gained the feeling that I will live a long life. I lost my sigmoid and gained abdo-bum. I lost my rectum and gained a new storage pouch made of colon. I lost fluid via a leaking hole and gained a tail.

Yes, a tail

The rectal tube starts somewhere upstream of the leak. It's job is to collect fluid that may otherwise leak out of the hole in my new colon and cause infection. A small balloon keeps it in place and the tube connects to a collection bag outside my body.

The mission

As I was strapping the bag to my thigh I felt like a spook packing a concealed weapon. A thigh holster holding a 9mm. Buttons, straps, shiny white plastic, nozzles, tubing, tape. I was in mission mode and the mission was simple: re-enter society and look normal.

The unit: lucky I have one of the longest thighs in the world

I have tail envy: leaving hospital with this tail would be cool