Think cancer

I have cancer and sometimes this seems to be the only thing I can think about. I know people often say sometimes they can only think about one particular thing, but cancer is one of the biggest particular things you can ever have to think about. When I think about cancer I think about losing organs, shitting in bags, pissing down pipes, of giant scars and risk factors. I think of side effects and medicines and alternative medicines. I think of dying, living and somewhere in between.

At the time of writing this I am thinking about cancer a lot. I think I am thinking about it so much because of other stressful things going on in my life: I got a parking fine, a borrowed car was almost towed, I spent an hour in the welfare office, I yelled at Sana, I was told I looked like crap by my Chinese doctor, house hunting and then moving, eating right, drinking right, meditating right, exercising right, family members fighting.

Sometimes I feel as though I am facing all these things on my own. And then I remember that I am never really on my own because Cancer is with me every step of the way.

I have cancer, not a paper cut

I recently read an opinion piece in the New York Times about some of the things people who aren't sick say to people who are.

You should read the article, but here is a summary of what the author disliked and why.

1. "What can I do to help?" This puts the burden back on the person with cancer to come up with something.

2. "My thoughts are prayers are with you." Overused.

3. "Did you try the mango colonic I recommended?" Something that saved your Uncle Tom won't work on me.

4. "Everything will be okay." You're not a doctor or fortune teller.

5. "How are we today?" I'm an adult, speak to me like one.

6. "You look great." Leave the idea of how we think we look to us.

I had mixed feelings about this article. I also shudder when people say 1 and 2. I haven't experienced 5. And I don't have a problem with 3 and 6 because I like hearing things people have tried, and because I worked out from an early age that I was easy on the eye.

Then there is Number Four

Number Four is an interesting one. I feel there is a real role for this kind of blind optimism - it balances the statistics and raw truths you hear from specialists. It restores that sense of "Yeah, maybe everything can be alright in the end". Hearing this phrase can pull you out of a funk, put a bounce in your step or bring a smile to your face.

I began incorporating positive affirmations into my daily life almost immediately after my diagnosis. Little signs in my house can be found exclaiming 'Each day I am stronger' and 'I heal quickly and without complications'. I treat Number Four as a sort of unsolicited positive affirmation.


It wasn't always that way

At the beginning I would burn on the inside when people said Number Four, especially if earlier they had had to check with me what type of cancer I had (You've got stomach cancer right?). I saw red when hit with what I felt were completely unfounded and unintelligent assessments of my complicated cancer.

I would smile, but inside yell: I have C-A-N-C-E-R, not a paper cut!

I now understand that when people say Number Four they don't actually know, but they are hoping - and that is a damn nice thing to hear. They want you to be okay. They want you to be alright. They want you around in 12 months time.

While I am not personally comfortable saying Number Four to people who have cancer, I do like it when people say it to me. So keep it up.

Just ask someone what they like people to say and say it.

Taoism, training and cancer

While my feet have been busy walking up and down Taoist mountains in central China, Brock's feet have been busy pounding treadmills at his local gym.

You can sponsor Brock here.

I'm trendy

According to the newspaper The West Australian I'm part of a trend and may not be that special after all.

"More young Australians than ever are battling bowel cancer, new data has found.

Recent rising international figures prompted The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare to investigate local bowel cancer rates.

The figures, released on Wednesday, found incidences of bowel cancer among all age groups had increased.

But colorectal surgeon Professor Graham Newstead said the number of people under 35 with the disease was "extraordinarily high"."

The article goes on to make an excellent point

"In the younger people, they are not only getting a huge increase in the incidence, but they're dying," Prof Newstead told AAP.

Over the research period, bowel cancer deaths claiming young women aged between 20 and 34 had doubled.

In their male counterparts, fatalities had risen by almost 25 per cent.

"They're dying because they present late and they present late because, if you're 30 years of age, you've got a bit of bleeding your GP is likely to say: `Probably haemorrhoids, don't worry about it'," Prof Newstead said."

The article then goes to make a totally crap point

"Prof Newstead couldn't explain why bowel cancer was on the rise, but said it could be linked to the modern diet "filled with hormones and this and that". 

That's sloppy science communication and does nothing to inform the reader. Are they talking about animal hormones? Plant hormones? My hormones?! What is This and what is That? Actually I think I saw That on a menu once but didn't order it because it was yellow.

I've personally never come across any information suggesting a link between hormones (mine, yours or those from plants and animal species) and colorectal cancer, plus, I have been mostly vegetarian for 6 years.

Is this That?

Sigmoid Sling

There's only one thing I like more than a party, and that is being the center of attention at a party.

I decided to throw a "Help me kick Ass Cancer" party at a local bar in the hutongs of Beijing. The owners of the bar are artists of alcohol and so I set them a challenge: combine as many cancer fighting ingredients as possible and then add alcohol. I suggested something based around pomegranate juice as some studies indicate it may have anti-cancer properties, especially for colorectal cancer.

The Sigmoid Sling

According to Wikipedia: "The Sigmoid Sling is a type of Sling cocktail made from anti-angiogenesis and anti-inflammatory ingredients such as pomegranate juice, apple juice, ginger and cucumber mixed with alcohol. This popular drink was named by Ian Black and first memorialized in 2011 by "high-profile cancer sufferer" Ben Bravery. This "colon-cancer fighting" drink typically is served in a Collins glass over ice."

The bigger picture

I figured a lot of people would come because I was playing the C card, and because I was offering free Sigmoid Slings, so I decided to turn the event into a fundraising opportunity.

My Canadian caller, Brock, has never met me but is going to run 10 km in my name and in his underwear to raise money and awareness for colorectal cancer.

To encourage people to donate I made a paper mâché bum and dressed it in a pair of my underwear. The collection bum worked very well and we were able to raise over 5500 Chinese Yuan, or 850 Canadian Dollars!

The drink lives on

The owners of Mao Mao Chongs, where I held the party, have decided to put the Sigmoid Sling on their menu and donate all profits from this drink to cancer research! Stephen and Stephanie, you guys are fantastic.