Surgery went well. In addition to losing my rectum, sigmoid and descending colon I underwent a partial vasectomy. The tumor ended up not being that intimate with the bladder and right seminal vesicle and the one-sided vasectomy shouldn't affect man-functions too much.
Time to grow up Small Intestine
I'm still in hospital. The temporary ileostomy I had means that what is left of my colon is bypassed. The main job of the colon is to absorb water.
My small intestine is behaving as though nothing has changed, as though it can just keep passing water to its larger sibling. It's time to grow-up small intestine, it's your time to shine. Haven't you been training for this my whole life?
The large amount of water leaving my body via this new junction means I can become dehydrated easily. The most unpleasant symptoms of dehydration include being told:
'You look like crap'
'Your eyes are like sunken pits'
July 23, 2011
July 1, 2011
Media Release
Friday 1 July 2011
BEIJING–In a country where toeing the party line is the norm, one China-based expat has decided to stand up and say no to alcohol for the month of July.
Susan Clear is an Irish-Australian and has been living in Beijing since 2007. She once believed her Irish genes and Australian binge-drinking behaviour would serve her well in the boozy Middle Kingdom, but Ms Clear simply was not prepared for the level of drinking in China.
“I remember getting off the plane, and I definitely remember going to my first Chinese banquet. The next four years are kinda blurry” says Ms Clear.
A liter bottle of beer in China costs a mere 3 Chinese Yuan, or 43 Australian cents. While their most famous liquor Baijiu still dominates social occasions in China, the country is now the largest consumer of beer in the world, and growing.
“I think people drink a lot everywhere, but in China people's social lives revolve around eating and drinking. People live close to each other, less people drive, and there is literally a new bar to try every second week” says Ms Clear.
Like thousands of Australians back at home, Ms Clear is abstaining from alcohol this July to raise money for adults with cancer. This is something Ms Clear knows about first hand.
“A close friend of mine was diagnosed with colorectal cancer at the age of 28 earlier this year. This just isn’t something you expect to happen at our age.”
“Cancer is scary, sad, and a reality check. Watching Ben take on cancer made me homesick and feel helpless, but also inspired me to do things today, not tomorrow” she says.
When asked if Ms Clear was concerned about standing out in a nation that has long encouraged its citizens to stand in exactly the same way, all the time, she said that she had bigger things on her mind.
“I want to support a good cause and be healthier at the same time. I’m not sure of any link between alcohol and cancer, but drinking definitely leads people to do other unhealthy things, like smoking, grabbing a 3 am kebab or eating large oily hangover breakfasts, which are known risk factors.”
But avoiding a cool beer on a humid Beijing summer night can be hard. Help Ms Clear by donating at https://www.dryjuly.com/profiles/susanclear
ENDS
EXPAT SAYS NO TO 40 CENT BEER, YES TO DRY JULY
BEIJING–In a country where toeing the party line is the norm, one China-based expat has decided to stand up and say no to alcohol for the month of July.
Susan Clear is an Irish-Australian and has been living in Beijing since 2007. She once believed her Irish genes and Australian binge-drinking behaviour would serve her well in the boozy Middle Kingdom, but Ms Clear simply was not prepared for the level of drinking in China.
“I remember getting off the plane, and I definitely remember going to my first Chinese banquet. The next four years are kinda blurry” says Ms Clear.
A liter bottle of beer in China costs a mere 3 Chinese Yuan, or 43 Australian cents. While their most famous liquor Baijiu still dominates social occasions in China, the country is now the largest consumer of beer in the world, and growing.
“I think people drink a lot everywhere, but in China people's social lives revolve around eating and drinking. People live close to each other, less people drive, and there is literally a new bar to try every second week” says Ms Clear.
Like thousands of Australians back at home, Ms Clear is abstaining from alcohol this July to raise money for adults with cancer. This is something Ms Clear knows about first hand.
“A close friend of mine was diagnosed with colorectal cancer at the age of 28 earlier this year. This just isn’t something you expect to happen at our age.”
“Cancer is scary, sad, and a reality check. Watching Ben take on cancer made me homesick and feel helpless, but also inspired me to do things today, not tomorrow” she says.
When asked if Ms Clear was concerned about standing out in a nation that has long encouraged its citizens to stand in exactly the same way, all the time, she said that she had bigger things on her mind.
“I want to support a good cause and be healthier at the same time. I’m not sure of any link between alcohol and cancer, but drinking definitely leads people to do other unhealthy things, like smoking, grabbing a 3 am kebab or eating large oily hangover breakfasts, which are known risk factors.”
But avoiding a cool beer on a humid Beijing summer night can be hard. Help Ms Clear by donating at https://www.dryjuly.com/profiles/susanclear
ENDS
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| Unlike these women, Ms Clear is going to walk to a different tune |
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| Conformity is serious business in China |
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| Tsingtao, China's number one beer |
June 27, 2011
Short-term bum
I learnt something in high-school biology that has shaped all my subsequent thinking about the human body. It was this: the body can be thought of, quite simply, as a series of bags and tunnels.
The biggest of the tunnels runs right through your body, it starts at your mouth and ends at your bot-bot.
When things go wrong with this tunnel new openings are sometimes needed. Just like roadworks taking place in a city, major thoroughfares in the body can be blocked, bypassed, detoured or closed down for service.
My upcoming surgery goes by the acronym ULAR, but I prefer the term Ooh-la
The Ooh-la will remove parts of the colon and rectum affected by the tumour and then re-attach healthy bits (colon, it seems, is quite stretchy and can be pulled down to meet what will be left of my rectum).
As any good surgeon or plumber will tell you – where you have cracks and joins, you have leaks. To help the new join between my colon and rectum heal as quickly as possible after surgery, the whole area will need a break from the stress of handling poo.
Diversion + Ostomy = Diverting ostomy
In addition to the Ooh-la then, I need an ileostomy. The 'ostomy' means that some of my insides will actually end up outside. The 'ile' comes from the name of the inside bit that will end up outside, the ileum.
The ileum is small intestine and connects to the large intestine. During my surgery, the ileum will be (1) pulled through a tailor-made hole in my abdomen, (2) partially cut (like a fat sausage) and then (3) sewn to my skin. Ta-da, new place for poo to come out!
Ben, meet Abdo-Bum
The ileum + hole in abdomen + place for poo to come out is called a stoma. You can also have stomas that are made from colon (colostomy) or that allow urine to leave your body (urostomy).
The idea is to keep Abdo-Bum for 4 to 12 weeks, just long enough to let my newly joined colon-rectum heal and handle poo. Then this hole thing will be reversed.
Final fact
I will still get to use my original bum while Abdo-Bum is around because the colon will be collecting cells and producing mucous that will need to leave my body.
The biggest of the tunnels runs right through your body, it starts at your mouth and ends at your bot-bot.
When things go wrong with this tunnel new openings are sometimes needed. Just like roadworks taking place in a city, major thoroughfares in the body can be blocked, bypassed, detoured or closed down for service.
My upcoming surgery goes by the acronym ULAR, but I prefer the term Ooh-la
The Ooh-la will remove parts of the colon and rectum affected by the tumour and then re-attach healthy bits (colon, it seems, is quite stretchy and can be pulled down to meet what will be left of my rectum).
As any good surgeon or plumber will tell you – where you have cracks and joins, you have leaks. To help the new join between my colon and rectum heal as quickly as possible after surgery, the whole area will need a break from the stress of handling poo.
 |
| Early exit coming up |
In addition to the Ooh-la then, I need an ileostomy. The 'ostomy' means that some of my insides will actually end up outside. The 'ile' comes from the name of the inside bit that will end up outside, the ileum.
The ileum is small intestine and connects to the large intestine. During my surgery, the ileum will be (1) pulled through a tailor-made hole in my abdomen, (2) partially cut (like a fat sausage) and then (3) sewn to my skin. Ta-da, new place for poo to come out!
Ben, meet Abdo-Bum
The ileum + hole in abdomen + place for poo to come out is called a stoma. You can also have stomas that are made from colon (colostomy) or that allow urine to leave your body (urostomy).
The idea is to keep Abdo-Bum for 4 to 12 weeks, just long enough to let my newly joined colon-rectum heal and handle poo. Then this hole thing will be reversed.
Final fact
I will still get to use my original bum while Abdo-Bum is around because the colon will be collecting cells and producing mucous that will need to leave my body.
 |
| An ileostomy in five steps |
June 24, 2011
From Oz with love
Dr Oz has had two polyps removed from his colon in the space of a year, one of them precancerous. He recently wrote about it in TIME magazine. I mean, this is Dr Oz - former cardiac surgeon and health and fitness nut!
He makes the outstanding point that bowel cancer can appear in healthy people too (ie. Oz and me).
You do not need to be a 190 kilo balloon who exclusively eats fries and steak shakes to contract this cancer.
Don't be scared, just be mindful.
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Photograph by Marco Grob for TIME
|
June 23, 2011
Pooology
I have been comfortable with poo ever since I realised that playing with it was a big part of a zoologist's life.
You can tell a lot from animal poo. Scientists use poo to work out where an animal has been, what time it was there, what it recently ate, if it is ready to mate, has mated, or is pregnant, if it is stressed, if it's a male or female, how old it is, and how related it is to the animal next door.
For some animals you see their poo more than you see them. I once met a PhD student in China studying giant pandas who had only seen one giant panda in three years of looking, and even then he had had to use a secret video camera at night, and only ended up with a picture of its leg.
Luckily giant pandas produce a lot of poo and are known to excrete up to 120 green balls of shredded bamboo every day. To describe the shape, size, colour and moisture content of the enormous amount of poo produced by giant pandas, and all the other species that make poo, classification systems are needed. We are no different.
Classifying our poo
The Bristol Stool Chart is the medical equivalent of zoological guides for identifying non-human animal poo.
The different Types look different because they have spent differing amounts of time in the colon. The colon's main job is to absorb water and some minerals from poo, so the wetter and less formed the poo the less time it has spent in the colon.
During chemoradiotherapy I sometimes went from Type 2 to 5 to 1, in a single day.
Now this chart is of particular relevance to me because very soon I am going to have my colon drastically shortened, and even more interestingly, I am going to have a procedure done that means what is left of my colon will be temporarily bypassed, completely.
Remember what I said about runnier poo spending less time in the colon? Imagine what poo that has spent no time in the colon looks like.
Got the image? My work here is done.
 |
| Giant panda poo |
For some animals you see their poo more than you see them. I once met a PhD student in China studying giant pandas who had only seen one giant panda in three years of looking, and even then he had had to use a secret video camera at night, and only ended up with a picture of its leg.
Luckily giant pandas produce a lot of poo and are known to excrete up to 120 green balls of shredded bamboo every day. To describe the shape, size, colour and moisture content of the enormous amount of poo produced by giant pandas, and all the other species that make poo, classification systems are needed. We are no different.
Classifying our poo
The Bristol Stool Chart is the medical equivalent of zoological guides for identifying non-human animal poo.
The different Types look different because they have spent differing amounts of time in the colon. The colon's main job is to absorb water and some minerals from poo, so the wetter and less formed the poo the less time it has spent in the colon.
During chemoradiotherapy I sometimes went from Type 2 to 5 to 1, in a single day.
Now this chart is of particular relevance to me because very soon I am going to have my colon drastically shortened, and even more interestingly, I am going to have a procedure done that means what is left of my colon will be temporarily bypassed, completely.
Remember what I said about runnier poo spending less time in the colon? Imagine what poo that has spent no time in the colon looks like.
Got the image? My work here is done.
 |
| Tricks like this can only be performed by poo after travelling through the colon |
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